Calling all barista champions
Posted on - 15/06/12
World champions James Hoffman, Gwilym Davies, current UK champion Maxwell Colonna-Dashwood and all other barista champions, I’ve looked up to you all and respected you over the years. I was in awe of your talents and bewildered by the drinks that you produced. But now my illusions are shattered. I now know that it was all smoke and mirrors. I now know that it was all a sham.
And how do I know? Well the truth came like a lightning bolt. I was watching television and the adverts came on. Here was a guy lying in bed with his girlfriend on a wet weekend morning. She turns to him and says “You know what I want? Bewilderingly he thinks “a cup of coffee.” A strange conclusion in my book but I digress. He gets up goes down to the kitchen, peers out of the rain stained windows to a coffee bar, miraculously just yards across the road, where he sees the barista at work on his steaming machine. As it’s raining heavily he thinks “No I’m not going to get wet”, turns to the cupboard, smiles and grabs a tin of Azera Barista style coffee. Well there you go. That was the moment when my dreams came crashing down.
To end the story he makes the coffee and brings it to his girlfriend who is still in bed. She is ecstatic as she believes that the coffee was made by the barista over the road.
Two conclusions: a) the day of the barista is over. We can all do it. b) The boyfriend was right and I was wrong because he knew what really satisfied her. Strange relationship!